Domestic Engineer

Today we got the car ready for the Trek out west... I'm getting super excited! Transmission Fluid Drained and Changed, along with the power steering, balanced and rotated tires... we're all set... now just to finish up the packing and wait for the weather to let up! Yesterday was lots of fun, we went to the bowling ally with Lisa and Alex and then had a dinner date with the Guests our neighbors across the way! I love our little neighborhood!

So... With the better half away, I thought this description of what moms/wives do was very accurate... I refer to myself as a Domestic Engineer... 

The Domestic Engineer is responsible for all household and childcare duties. Additionally, the domestic engineer is responsible for ensuring that harmony exists between all individuals living in the home. Love, care, and kindness are all attributes that must be exhibited by the domestic engineer. Caring for the husband is crucial, and it is expected that the domestic engineer will provide for his emotional, physical, and spiritual needs. A domestic engineer should also maintain personal hygiene and take care of her physical body through proper eating and regular exercise. While there is not a strict dress code, it is expected that between the hours of 7 am and 10 pm, the domestic engineer will have makeup applied and will not be wearing pajamas or other elastic clothing. The domestic engineer is expected to cry no more than 1 time per month, for a maximum of 5 minutes.

Duties

Household:

Sweeping/mopping – at least once per day

Dusting – at least twice per week

Vacuuming – at least once per week

Straightening up – at least once per day, preferably before 5pm

Doing the dishes – as often as needed so that dishes do not extend over the corners of the sink

Scrubbing bathrooms – at least once every two weeks or weekly if any potty-trained children reside in the home

Doing the laundry – as often as necessary so that clean socks and underwear can easily be located

Other duties as assigned

Childcare:

Feeding – 3 well balanced meals each day with 1-2 healthy snacks

Bathing – at least 5 baths per week including full body lotion application when needed

Dressing/Grooming – children will be dressed with fresh, clean clothes. Haircuts must be provided at least every 6 weeks once the child is 18 months old. Fingernails and toenails must be trimmed so that no more than 3mm of nail be exposed past the end of the digit.

Emotional Caring – holding each child for at least 20 minutes per day. Saying “I love you to each child at least 3 times a day”

Developmental – reading to each child for at least 20 minutes per day

Qualifications/Requirements:

Must have a high threshold for pain and a high tolerance for nagging, bothering, begging, crying, and loud noises

Must be willing and able to stand for extensive periods of time, to crawl on the floor, to enter tight and cramped spaces, and to climb chairs and tables to obtain objects in difficult to reach places

Must be willing and able to operate on 0-6 hours of sleep

Should be able to handle multiple difficult situations at once

Should be well versed on the phone and in writing

Must possess negotiation skills to handle requests from both children and adults

Can calmly handle stressful situations without yelling, throwing, hitting, storming out of rooms, or slamming doors – preferably 

Hope this gave you a good laugh

Scripture for the Day

Ephesians 5:22-33 

"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.  In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.  After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body.“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."